3 weeks later

I can't believe it has been 3 weeks since my surgery.  Sometimes it feels like it was just the other day and then other times I feel like it was months ago.  My scope of time has been skewed as I am not on a schedule anymore, which is a really strange feeling for someone so used to having to manage her time very efficiently.

Most of the time my foot feels pretty decent.   I mostly struggle with the nerve pain that shoots to my pinky toe, which is very painful but comes and goes.   If I do not elevate properly the foot starts to really swell and throb, which basically is just a reminder to get back to elevating.  Taking a shower is still difficult as keeping my foot in a downward position for even just 10-15 minutes is enough to cause some major swelling and pain.   Elevating and ice are the main methods to healing--there's just no way around it.  Elevating isn't as easy as it sounds as I have to keep the foot above heart level, which requires about 4 pillows to do.   Then my butt starts to go numb.  It's kind of hilarious and super frustrating all at the same time.

I'm still not allowed to leave the house by myself, mostly because of the ice/snow and risk of falling and screwing up the whole surgery.   I really wish I could work from home, in order to ease my boredom and get back to feeling like a productive member of society.   Technically, I probably could do my job in the office if I could bring in a recliner and mountain of pillows to keep the foot elevated.   There is just no way to do this in a 4' x 4' cube.   I would also need to hire a chauffeur, as Aaron cannot drive me back and forth everyday.  I'm kind of jealous of people who have the ability, as Aaron does, to work anywhere they want.   Plenty of people say they would love to sit/lie on the couch for weeks on end--and to that I say it sounds like fun until you actually are forced to do it.   Bed rest during pregnancy was worse though because physically I could do things, just wasn't allowed to move.  That REALLY felt like house arrest.

3 weeks down, hopefully only 2-3 more until I get back to the real world.   Let the countdown begin!

Insomnia

Sometimes I think because I haven't been challenged during the day intellectually, my brain refuses to turn off at night and let me sleep!   I laid in bed for about 30 minutes, trying to find a comfy position with the moon boot on, and just couldn't drift off.  I don't want to take anything to induce artificial sleep and it's not like I have to go anywhere tomorrow to be rested for either, so I'm just trying to find quiet things to do with my guys sleep.

My house is an absolute wreck.  The Christmas decorations are still up, Ryan's loot from Santa and the grandparents is strewn everywhere, and the clutter is mounting.  Usually a little bit of a mess doesn't bother me one bit, but I'm starting to really get disgruntled.  I want to be able to clean some of it up and get some form of organization going, but there is just no way to do it with only one good leg and one available hand (the other on the walker at all times so I don't fall again.)   I guess I have to just suck it up.  I can't ask Aaron to do much more than he's doing right now, which is basically everything.  So, a disaster it will be for now.

Aaron's company announced today that because of the economy there will be no merit raises or bonuses this year, or basically until they can turn it around enough to put them back into the compensation equation.  Ordinarily, this would really piss me off because he works so damn hard every single day and really deserves that raise and bonus.   However, at this point living in Michigan and doing the work that I do everyday, I'm just grateful that he still has a job and one that pays pretty well in the process.  Sure, a raise would be nice, but for now I'll settle for status quo knowing how much worse it could really be.  During this recovery period I have had time to dwell on how bad this surgery sucked and had a little pity party, but have also really focused on all of the great things in my life--my family, friends, roof over my head, etc...I'm trying to stay positive for 2009.  Even if I am stuck on this couch, at least I have a couch to rest my butt on and elevate my wounded leg with!

The moon boot

Picture of the CAM Walker, for those who haven't seen it before.  It's definitely not as pretty as the pink cast, but way more comfortable and removable which makes showering so much better.   Downside--it's huge compared to the cast.  Sleeping should be interesting.

The cast is GONE

I went back to the doctor today because the pretty pink cast was WAY too loose.  So loose in fact that the gauze wrap underneath the cast started coming unraveled and balled up under my foot.  I stuck my whole hand in and pulled the gauze out, and realized if I can stick the entire hand into the cast something must be wrong.   The doc agreed and took the cast off and it's not going back on, which is the good news...

The not so good news is that my body is rejecting the internal stitches.   There were at least 4-6 of them poking out of the incision, which he had to then remove and those deep ones hurt!  The rejection is not a huge shocker on my end--the same exact thing happened when I had my breast reduction, and that turned into a cluster#*ck of epic proportions.  I wound up with a terrible infection and horrible scars so bad that my husband now calls my right breast "shark bait."  Luckily the scars are on the underside, so only he gets to see them--lucky Aaron, right?

So far, my ankle looks good and is healing nicely so I have to now be REALLY careful so that when the internal stitches keep coming out I don't pop the whole wound open.  It's not likely to happen, but could and that's scary.   For now I'm back in the CAM Walker, which I affectionately call my "moon boot."   It's a little lighter than the cast, but way more cumbersome.  I'm not allowed to walk at all in the boot, but can gently rest it on the floor for balance.  I go back next week for a normal follow up and then in 2 weeks I'll probably be released for physical therapy!   Woo hoo!   This means hopefully I'll be back to work in 3-4 weeks--a little longer than I'd hoped, but less than the 8 week worst case scenario.   

The pain is tolerable--just have to keep the leg elevated as much as possible and take the ibuprofen to reduce inflammation.  I'm feeling pretty good! 

Slowly losing my mind...

I think I have figured out why people get hooked on narcotics after surgery.   The obvious answer is that they are in pain.  The less obvious is that they are BORED OUT OF THEIR FREAKING MINDS and looking for relief.  If the drugs didn't make me so sick I would probably love the stoned feeling as days would not seem to drag endlessly.   Alas, I cannot enjoy oxycontin or vicodin, so I have to try to entertain myself.   Today I was so bored that I managed to clean all of my makeup brushes with actual shampoo, clean up dog puke (no idea what's up with Bailey but if God loves me he will make it stop)  and load the dishwasher (still can't unload as that requires actual movement around the kitchen.)    Other than that, I have been relegated to the couch, recliner, or bed.   Aaron is sick so we managed to throw in an argument just for fun, simply because we're both in foul moods and taking it out on each other.   Now we realize that arguing is not a great use of our "quality time" together, but neither of us has the energy or feels good enough to have "real" quality time.   

Tomorrow I will get out of the house long enough to go pick Ryan up from the in-law's.  It's sad that a trip in the car has become my version of freedom.  I am simply in love with the heated seats and satellite radio.  Oh the little things to be grateful for!

Walking pneumonia

The New Year always starts out with illness in the Litwin household.  I'm not sure why we have been cursed, but I can trace illnesses back since before Aaron and I got married in 2000.   Aaron started feeling badly on his birthday, which was Monday, and went to the doc yesterday where he had a 103 degree fever and a cough that just won't quit.  She diagnosed him with "walking pneumonia" and basically said that if he doesn't improve or gets worse he may need to be admitted to the hospital.    Perfect.   Having one of us down for the count is bad enough, but both of us is a nightmare.  Luckily, Aaron's parents are relatively close and took Ryan for a few days because I just can't keep up with a toddler while on one leg and Aaron is in no condition to do so either.  I am praying that a couple of days of "doing nothing" will get Aaron back to feeling human again soon.

I have been watching a lot of Food Network over the last two weeks and think that the whole station is the devil and makes me really hungry.  It's fascinating to watch all of these fantastic meals come together but frustrating because even on the knee walker there is no way I can cook anything more complicated than a sandwich right now!  I did make fajitas in the slow cooker for New Year's Eve (had family over) and they turned out really well.  I never would have known that I can do fajitas in a crock pot if I hadn't watched so much Food TV :)   I have even found myself in the mood for sushi, which is something I don't even really like so I think that these shows have some sort of subliminal messages, probably paid for by restaurants and fast food conglomerates.   That's my conspiracy theory and I'm sticking to it.

My cast is really loose so I will probably have to go back to the doc on Monday or Tuesday for a new one.  I kind of like this pink one, but I never repeat a color in succession so I have to pick something else.   Does anyone have a request or recommendation?

Happy New Year

Well, the holidays are officially over so now I think it's time for a vacation from the craziness.  Life has been a never-ending whirlwind since surgery--parts I was coherent enough to remember, and some I wish I could have forgotten.  Overall, we have had a lot of quality time with family and I feel the need for a break from the chaos.  The worst part is that I can't really do anything, so my version of a break will be more of the same thing--sitting on my butt, elevating my foot, and just working on healing.  Yippee.  

Some days my foot feels really good and I don't have much pain, but at other times it's as bad as it was immediately after the surgery.  I guess I haven't been doing my proper elevating to help reduce all of the swelling, but I do my best.  I hope the numbness in my toes goes away soon.  Right now it feels like someone shot up my pinky toe and the one next to it with novocaine which is wearing off and giving me that painful pins and needles feeling.   That's something I could really live without.  My cast is already loose and I can only imagine how much worse that is going to get.  I'm supposed to be in this pink one for 2 weeks, but doubt I'll make it that long.

Aaron is sick with some strange upper respiratory thing and that sucks because I'm supposed to go get a facial tomorrow and he's supposed to drive me because I am NOT supposed to drive yet unless I have no other choice.  So, by scheduling him for a massage I guaranteed my own transportation as a trip the spa would not fall under my doctor's guidelines of a situation where I "have to" drive.   But, now that he's so sick he may want to cancel his appointment which means there goes mine too :(    I hope he feels better soon because it's hard to be so dependent on someone who feels like hell...I don't like to make it worse.

I hope all had a very Happy New Year and a good start to 2009. I know my household is hoping 2009 will be much better health-wise than 2008!